His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
