I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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