Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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