She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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