I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
