ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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