Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
