Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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