hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
