brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
