Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize