Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize