1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
