Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
