Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
