I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
