I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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