yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My dick has a subreddit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize