Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize