Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
