a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just pee around me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
