You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
