Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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