I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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