Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
