haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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