my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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