Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
