i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
