Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize