i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize