Fine. I'll sleep in my office
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
