Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
