and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
