So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
