cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
