I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
