Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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