dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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