Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
