Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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