I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
