So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
