Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
