Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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