we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
