we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
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yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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