If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize