Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
