It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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