just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
