NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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