I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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