I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
