Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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