just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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