wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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