My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
