Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think i got beer on your cat.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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