you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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