all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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