By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
