WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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