Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize
