I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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