At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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