he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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