i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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