I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
