We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
