I hate your face
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
