drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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